Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ill start from the beginning...

My name is Paula and I am 21. I am a manager of a hair salon, i work at a pizza place and i am also a full time student. I live in Flordia. I have an underbite and I am going through the process to get it fixed. I googled Jaw Surgery and saw a few blogs from people like me going through similar situations and it inspired me to share my story too :)

I guess I was born with it, but started to really notice it when i was about 12. I was always VERY self conscious and shy to even talk about it. Now i realize talking about my insecurities makes it a little easier to deal with. Although I still feel very uncomfortable I know after my journey is over I will feel 100% better about myself. So if you look at me, I guess i look pretty normal but i dont feel normal. When i am in crowds i feel really insecure and feel like people are staring at me. When i am in a classroom or any type of room i always try to sit in a corner to elinimate the number of people able to see my profile. I know, its bad, but noone really understands. My friends all say they dont even notice, or they like me the way i am, and i dont need surgery. My parents think i am crazy for putting myself through this, but hey what parent wants their baby to get surgery. My boyfriend seems ok, he says i am beautiful and dont need it but to truely feel good about myself i HAVE to do it. FOR Me. not for anyone else. So first i got insurance in Nov 2007, but there is a year waiting period for it to cover anything major, so i was just waiting. I went to the dentist and had to have some fill-ins, extractions cleanings and all that good stuff, that took about a year because the dentist is not cheap!(about3grand!) haha. It is now May 2009 and I finally got all my dental work done that i had to do before i could get braces put on.I met with a surgeon on monday and I got my braces two days ago.. OUCH! OMG> it is so painful, i was walking around in such a bad mood! Today is day 3 with my braces and they dont hurt that bad 2 day, but i go back monday for them to be tightened or something. So braces arent cheap, but i have to wear them for about a year before they will do the surgery. Great, so not only am i self conscious, but now i have metal mouth, and i feel like my underbite is SOOOO much more noticeable :( so depressing.
So i think I typed enough for now, i should be doing my homework anyway. Ill type more on monday when i get my braces tightned and ill include some more pics.